Aint This Awkward [Kyle/Augy]

[Augusta Davingoun]

Augusta kept looking out the window, he wished it was rainy, at least the weather would reflect the colors of his heart.

"Davingoun... I--It's fine. I'm okay."

Well, there goes Kris, ignoring what Augy said. Augusta looked back at Kris and felt something swell up inside him. He felt tears build behind his face but he held them back. He had a feeling that Kristopher was lying. In fact he knew the blond was, but he wasn't going to bring that up. " Yeah well..." Augy said and clenched the shirt tightly. " You may be fine... but I'm not... I... I..." he stopped and sighed. " I made a huge mistake, I pushed away the only thing that kept me alive and I don't think I could ever make it up to you... So... "

Augy buried his face into the long-sleeved shirt that he knew belonged to Kris. He sat there for a long time before lifting his head, but he wasn't crying. " So... I know you'd never take me back after what I did, I overreacted and hurt you... even if I didn't want to hear what you said I shouldn't have acted for rashly...." The Frenchman sighed and glanced at the shirt, then Kris, then the shirt, then Kris. He held out the clothing and sighed, " This is yours... you should have it... It's one of the only ones that does have messed up cuffs..." he said with a slight chuckle. But it was obvious that the small laugh was hiding the tears and pain Augy wanted to show.

Cause unlike his counterpart, Augusta wore his heart on his sleeve and couldn't hide his emotions so easily.

[Kristopher Roberts]

" You may be fine... but I'm not... I... I...I made a huge mistake, I pushed away the only thing that kept me alive and I don't think I could ever make it up to you... So...So... I know you'd never take me back after what I did, I overreacted and hurt you... even if I didn't want to hear what you said I shouldn't have acted for rashly...."


Ha, well Augusta was still alive and so was Kris. The blond knew what he meant but still, the blond did not look up. He was terrified. Even if the voice was soft, he couldn't shake the feeling from seeing those pericing eyes drilling into him. That intense look he shot at him from the staircase and the feeling of his very world falling apart. Kristopher was terrified that he might have to go through that again.

"I shouldn't of said anything to begin with." said the blond softly however pulling at his sleeves like the freak he was. It was surprising he still had shirts that fit him. He didn't have many of them and that is why he sometimes stole Augusta's shirts. But he did not do that anymore. There was so reason too.

" This is yours... you should have it... It's one of the only ones that does have messed up cuffs..."

Kristopher moved slightly, or more so twitched at the soft chuckle. The blond plastered a smile on his face like he always did. He took a few steps forward, careful ones. His green eyes moved upwards slightly, just enough to see the shirt and not Augusta. Then, his pale hand reached for the shirt and took it, coughing slightly.

[Augusta Davingoun]

Augusta sighed, so Kris was going to take the silent route. He knew things were going to be hard. But it seemed Augy had underestimated the power of this. He looked over at the blond as he flinched and cautiously took the shirt. Suddenly something hit him.

And god it hurt...

Kristopher acted so cautious, so scared, was Kris frightened of him?! Oh my god! Augy walked forward, he looked at Kris and tried not to cry. " Are you... are y--you scared of me?" he asked, a but worried. Not really a bit, he was very worried, in fact he was scared to hear the blonds answer. " You're acting like I'm going to hit you! I---I.... Oh god you are scared of me!" he said and turned around burying his face in his hands. He walked as far away as he could, he stood in the corner of the room and kept his back away from the blond. He had to keep himself from crying, he knew Kris hated it when he cried. He held it back, he curled his hands into firsts and fought back the urges. The only thing that rang through his mind was that fact that Kris was frightened of him.

Augusta put his hands down and then looked at Kristopher. " I'm so sorry... I have ruined everything... " he said and leaned on the wall. His knees almost fell out from under him. " Great... I've lost everything and now your scared of me... " he looked down at the floor and muttered, " Please just kill me now..."

[Kristopher Roberts]

" Are you... are y--you scared of me? You're acting like I'm going to hit you! I---I.... Oh god you are scared of me!"

Kristopher went back to the door and stood in front of it, hugging his shirt to his chest. Listening to Augy flip out and move about the room. He wasn't crying, which surprised the blond but he wasn't raging either. He wished he was, it was easier to deal with then. It made it easier to deal with his mother, father, and siblings back in the day. If he had something to hold onto to...but he didn't. So he stood there.

"I'm not afraid of you." Kristopher said softly. "I'm just..." Just what? Kristopher would like to now that himself. He raised his green eyes to watch Augusta lean into the wall and then promptly averted them.

" Great... I've lost everything and now your scared of me... "


"It's not fear and I don't hate you. I just...don't feel...

Augusta was still standing and facing Kris when he let out his stutter of words. " Quit talking like that... it's pathetic..." he said darkly and pulled away from Kris's hand.

The memory itself silenced Kristopher for a good moment. Then he dropped the stuttering voice. "I feel like I am walking on egg shells. That if I say the wrong words, you are going to scream at me. I feel insecure and not safe. I'm afraid that you are going to look at me with such hate again. I can't deal with that. I've been looked at like that all my life. I can't take that look from you." Said the blond as he turned his head and looked at the door knob.

"Kyle...can I come out now?" He asked weakly. "I don't want to be in here."

A pause.

"But you have less to worry about now. Naelona has taken me away from Sin. I'm safe from others now." A small smile came to his lips then. "I'm sure you have heard what the other's say anyways. You don't need me around you." Ah yes, the rumors of Kristopher that float about like wild fire. Nothing more then a using whore.

[Augusta Davingoun]

"I feel like I am walking on egg shells. That if I say the wrong words, you are going to scream at me. I feel insecure and not safe. I'm afraid that you are going to look at me with such hate again. I can't deal with that. I've been looked at like that all my life. I can't take that look from you."

Augusta looked up from his hands, he looked at the blond with slightly confused eyes. He listened and just sort of sat there. Suddenly he understood. But that just made everything worse.

"I'm afraid that you are going to look at me with such hate again. I can't deal with that. "

Augusta felt those tears swell in the back of his eyes again, " K--Kris..."

"Kyle...can I come out now?I don't want to be in here."

Augusta was trying so hard to stop them, his fists clenched so hard he felt his nails slowly cutting into the rough skin on his palms. " Kris I--I'm..."

"But you have less to worry about now. Naelona has taken me away from Sin. I'm safe from others now."

Augusta looked like he was on the brink of tears but nothing came, no weeping, nothing. He just looked at Kris, his face covered in sorrow. He felt a warm liquid run through his fingers and drip onto the floor when he unclenched his hands. The pain in his hands didn't effect him at all.

"I'm sure you have heard what the other's say anyways. You don't need me around you."

Augusta almost lost it then, almost. " I punched her!" he said loudly, but then realized how loudly he had said it and sighed. He started again except not as loud. " There was this girl... she... she called you a whore... that you just used me and... and I hit her... I know your not supposed to hit girls but..." Augusta sighed and looked at his hands, watched the blood seep from the tiny cuts on his hands. " But she was the whore, spreading rumor about you... they didn't even see it, they don't know anything but they still talk shit... I hate them... plus your not a whore... I know your not... it's not like you cheated on me... I know that... but they don't care... they want to make you look like the bad guy... but you're not the bad one... how were you supposed to know what you said was gonna hurt? It's stupid. They just wanted an excuse to come annoy me... I hate girls... I'm tired of stupid bitches trying to hit on me!" he said and clenched his fists again.

" Don't they ever learn that I'm taken..."

[Kristopher Roberts]

Kristopher blinked a few times after he flinched from the raised voice. He punched someone? Well, that was nothing new to Kristopher. Augusta always beat on someone not matter what. "You shouldn't hit people." said the blond even though he was now looking at Augusta however his experssion never changed. "Even if they talk about me."

But it felt wonderful to know Augusta stood up for him. Kristopher would never do that for himself. He didn't like fighting. Nevere did and not even now. But he felt so out of place, so lost and insecure over the matters going on between him and his ex-fiance.

He chuckled again, "So girls are hitting on you? That a change." Yes, at least Augusta wasn't being approached as if he would be an easy lay. Luckly, the men and others could take hints well enought to leave him be for the time being.

" Don't they ever learn that I'm taken..."

Taken? By who? It wasn't Kris that was for sure and his face slowly fail into a frown. "I see and who are you dating now?" Asked the blond, thinking his former lover had found someone else. If so, then alright...Kris could deal with that. "Cause I know it isn't me."

He watched Augusta and slowly sighed. Was he going to cry again? Kris hated tears. Useless things that never did anyone good. Whatever. Kristopher put his shirt down and walked over to Augusta and took his fist. "I rather you take it out on me then you're hand." said the ever observant boy as he looked at the blood. Watching it. "It doesn't matter to me what people think anyways." he lied, "I mean, who can say they have slept with more then two people? Hm...but it doesn't matter. Just stop making yourself bleed over stupid things."

[Augusta Davingoun]

"I see and who are you dating now? Cause I know it isn't me."

Augy smiled slightly, it was pathetic looking and not really happy but a smile all the same. He sighed, " Just because I'm not dating you doesn't mean my heart still doesn't cling to you..." he chuckled, " I'm a very attached person, I find it hard to let things go so easily..." he said and sighed. He wanted Kristopher back, but he knew Kris hated him or whatever. He wanted to see that smile again, to hear his voice say his name. He needed someone to sleep next to, to eat lunch with. He needed that little but of sun on the most rainiest season of his life.

When the pale skin touched his, Augy's hand relaxed almost instantly. The flesh on his palm was red and there were very clear slices were his nails had been.

"I rather you take it out on me then you're hand. It doesn't matter to me what people think anyways. I mean, who can say they have slept with more then two people? Hm...but it doesn't matter. Just stop making yourself bleed over stupid things."

Augusta then looked at Kris rather quizzically. He tipped his head to the side just a touch and sighed. " The pain, it stops me from crying. I know you hate it when I cry so... I mean... yah know... I need to be strong and stop being a little kid all the time..." he said softly. " Plus I never want to take out my anger on you ever again. " Augusta watched the blood slip across his hand, trailing crimson liquid over his slightly pale skin. " It's not stupid and you make this seem like a joke. I hate people who start rumors. They don't even know you but your letting them call you a whore. Your not a whore Kris. You love me, at least you did... and you never cheated. I was the jealous one, I was the bad one. You would never hurt me or use me, I'm not a moron, but they seem to think they can just oush you around! And you let them. Somebody has to stand up for you. And I care about you... I don't want to see you hurt..."

Augusta then paused and gave Kristopher a serious look. " And don't you lie to me and put on that little mask of yours, I've known you too long to believe that the rumors don't hurt you and that you're not alright about this, about how we left it, about leaving us in general. You're not okay, you are not fine and dandy. Your just like me, sad, weak and lonely right now. Except you have a brother to lean on, and I have have nobody... "

[Kristopher Roberts]

Just because I'm not dating you doesn't mean my heart still doesn't cling to you... I'm a very attached person, I find it hard to let things go so easily..."

"You let things go as much as a stubborn child does." said the blond as he sighed softly and pulled out a small bit of fabric from his back pocket, he always had something--came with being a doctor. He used that fabric to put around Augusta's hand and then put pressure on it for the time being, having something to keep him busy.

. " It's not stupid and you make this seem like a joke. I hate people who start rumors. They don't even know you but your letting them call you a whore. Your not a whore Kris. You love me, at least you did... and you never cheated. I was the jealous one, I was the bad one. You would never hurt me or use me, I'm not a moron, but they seem to think they can just oush you around! And you let them. Somebody has to stand up for you. And I care about you... I don't want to see you hurt..."

Kristopher frowned, "Does it matter? People always talk, there isn't a thing we can do about it other then let them. It will eventually become old news and they will forget everything. Besides, its not like the rumors are doing me any harm." The blond's eyes stared at the hand as he treated it. The fact of the matter might be true that words came and go but being hurt was something different. Kristopher had been randomly approached by both sexes at random times for his services. In which he ignored or merely slapped them so hard it sent there head spinning. "I don't believe in fighting much." He concluded out loud with a small shrug.

It was nice to know that Augy still cared about him, but Kristopher made no response to it. He didn't think he could right now. He was already lost, confused and nervous being around the older man.

And don't you lie to me and put on that little mask of yours, I've known you too long to believe that the rumors don't hurt you and that you're not alright about this, about how we left it, about leaving us in general. You're not okay, you are not fine and dandy. Your just like me, sad, weak and lonely right now. Except you have a brother to lean on, and I have have nobody... "

Ah, how well Augusta new him. It was scary sometimes. "I could never hide things from you very well." The blond admitted. "Yes, everything is not fine and dandy with me, as for my brother..." his voice lowered softly, "He just recently came back from the dead. I've been taking care of him, I'm not sure if you can call that leaning on someone. But he has been support since a few days ago..." Kris sighed and shook his head, dropping Augusta's hand.

"But I don't know what to make of our...situation...anymore."

[Augusta Davingoun]

Augusta just watched as Kris pulled out a cloth out of nowhere. It amazed the Frenchman how well-prepared Kris was. It was beyond Augusta's comprehension. But he let the blond wrap his hand and Augy smiled at Kris's comment, it was true. Augusta was stubborn as a mule sometimes, he knew he could never ever let Kristopher go, no matter how hard he tried.

"I could never hide things from you very well. Yes, everything is not fine and dandy with me, as for my brother... He just recently came back from the dead. I've been taking care of him, I'm not sure if you can call that leaning on someone. But he has been support since a few days ago..."

Augy nodded, " See, we are both messed up right now. But... I think Kyle is the only reasonable one out of everyone here..." he said with a small pathetic smile. " But I guess I'm happy that he is better, I heard that Sarah has been... tearing the family apart... I... I chose a bad time to be selfish I guess..." Augusta watched Kristopher and felt his heart sink. He couldn't stand this, even the way Kris stood, talked, breathed, it made Augy crazy. And he loved every bit of it, and he wanted to hold Kris and be with him forever. He wanted to be stuck to him until his body rotted away.

"But I don't know what to make of our...situation...anymore."

Augusta looked at Kris for a second before letting out a sigh. " He lifted his not bleeding hand and brushed a bit of bangs out of his face softly, he was cautious not to scare the blond. He let his hand brush over the skin of the pale boys cheek. " I know your confused and so am I... I'm not sure what's up or down or what to make of what I said, or how to stop being so jealous and protective..." he paused and slowly pulled his hand away. " But I do know one thing is for certain..." he paused and let his hand fall to his side.

" I still love you... I know that will never change..." Augy said softly, " I don't want it to change either..."

[Kristopher Roberts]

" See, we are both messed up right now. But... I think Kyle is the only reasonable one out of everyone here..." he said with a small pathetic smile. " But I guess I'm happy that he is better, I heard that Sarah has been... tearing the family apart... I... I chose a bad time to be selfish I guess..."

Kristopher lifted a thin hand to Augusta's lips and covered them quickly and shook his head, looking towards the doorway. "Don't say that name." It was reasonable to say or guess how that name effected Kyle in a bad way. "Please." He said softly and he waited for a moment, listening for Kyle. But he made no sign of distress or anything at all and so Kristopher sighed softly. He did no want his older brother to lose what little sanity he had left. It would further rip Kris apart. "Bad timing or not, it can't be helped..."

" I know your confused and so am I... I'm not sure what's up or down or what to make of what I said, or how to stop being so jealous and protective..." I still love you... I know that will never change...I don't want it to change either..."

Still ever the romantic it seemed. But Kristopher did not pull away from the touch of the watchmaker. Kristopher pressed his lips together, his fingers pulling at the delicate fabric of his sleeves as he always did. What was he to say? The words that spewed from Augusta where soft, sweet, and serious. He wasn't joking or pulling Kristopher's strings.

"I think, I just need time to think and weigh my options...a lot of things had started to make me think. I am stuck I think. In between wanting to be with you and then not all at the same time---"

Feeling suddenly unsure on how to express himself, as always the case, he changed the subject suddenly. A sign that Kristopher was having problems conveying feelings into words.

"I ran into someone new the other day." He paused, "He shared a drink with me when I was down." Oh yes, Kristopher touched liquior. A scary thought. "He...he makes things too."

[Augusta Davingoun]

Augusta sighed it must have been really bad for Kyle if he couldn't even say Sarah's name. It must be harder then hell to deal with that. Augy knew how that felt, he knew the feeling of depression very well. More then most people. Augusta silenced himself, he knew how much Kyle meant to Kristopher, how much Kris needed somebody to support him and he didn't want the doctor to lose such support.

"I think, I just need time to think and weigh my options...a lot of things had started to make me think. I am stuck I think. In between wanting to be with you and then not all at the same time---"

Augusta looked at the blond for a second before looking away. He held his composure for just a bit longer, just long enough to keep himself from getting overly emotional. After a second he nodded, like he agreed. He smiled a bit, to hide the sudden surge of pain he felt. He felt his insides turn over and he wanted to throw up. He felt slightly sick, he just poured out his heart in a not emotionally unstable way and all he got back was an uncertain answer. Augy told himself he should know better, that the only things that are certain are death and taxes. His father used to say that all the time. It made him happy.

"I ran into someone new the other day. He shared a drink with me when I was down. He...he makes things too."

Augusta looked at Kristopher. Great, he makes ONE mistake, ONE and now Kris meets somebody new and better and perfect for him. Augy would bet a hundred dollars and his left ass-cheek that if Augusta had never been around, Kristopher would fall for this guy. But Augy plastered on a fake smile and nodded, like he somehow understood. " T--That's great..." he stuttered, he couldn't help it. Augy has always wore his heart on his sleeve, he was not the magician Kris was in hiding his emotions, in fact he so bad at it it isn't funny. But he was trying, trying not to just break down right here. " But you got off topic again... If you need to say something just say it, be blunt, It's not like you already do that really well..." he said, not meaning to said like a jerk, but the phrase came out really harsh and snappy. Augusta sighed and backed away from the blond.

Augusta's emotions were like a roller-coaster ride, up and down, sad and happy, then angry the happy then sad. It was a unreasonable and unpredictable cycle of depression and anger. And the more he acted like this, the more the Frenchman started to hate himself for it...

[Kristopher Roberts]

" But you got off topic again... If you need to say something just say it, be blunt, It's not like you already do that really well..."

Whoops, seems Kristopher took a wrong turn as he normally did without meaning too. He was always good at messing things over to an extreme and so he decided to correct his error right then and there as Augy got snappy at him. "Oh, don't get like that!" Kristopher said as he took a step away from the Frenchy. "It's not like that, see you are doing it, again." Kristopher pouted at the older one and jabbed a finger into his chest, suddenly losing all of his nervousness.

"Just because I said I had a drink with a fella, now you are thinking I suddenly found another man I like better then you, which I never said I liked him! I merely said you two had something in common and he was nice to me. It doesn't mean I have suddenly got a new boyfriend." God, now Augusta really made him sound like the whore he was...god.

"And I will go back on the topic now of saying I still like you but I am not sure if I should go back to you or not and now you just added more fuel to the fire." Kristopher rolled his pretty green eyes and sighed deeply, placing his face into his thin head.

"Goes from one thing and into another. Can't we just have a normal relationship of some kind? Seriously..." He muttered to himself as he then dragged his hand down his face.

Augusta was just impossible! Really!

[Augusta Davingoun]

"Oh, don't get like that! It's not like that, see you are doing it, again."

Augusta wasn't paying much attention to the blond after his snappy comment, but when he felt a sharp jab into his chest his gaze returned to the green-eyed boy in front of him. Augusta was a bit surprised, but he shouldn't have been. He did tell Kris to be blunt, and here Kristopher was doing so.

"Just because I said I had a drink with a fella, now you are thinking I suddenly found another man I like better then you, which I never said I liked him! I merely said you two had something in common and he was nice to me. It doesn't mean I have suddenly got a new boyfriend. And I will go back on the topic now of saying I still like you but I am not sure if I should go back to you or not and now you just added more fuel to the fire."

Augusta frowned, why? WHY!? he still didn't get it. Why wasn't he sure? Why was he standing on the line, pick a damn side! Augusta wished the blond would just pick yes or no because the waiting and the pain of not knowing was going to kill him. He was an impatient child, he always would be. Maturity is for the old. But he did have to admit to himself that he did add fuel to the fire. " I didn't mean to sound like that... it just kinda slipped..." he muttered.

"Goes from one thing and into another. Can't we just have a normal relationship of some kind? Seriously..."

Augy smiled softly. He had an answer for that one. " Kris... look around... how are we supp0ossed to have a steady and normal relationship when we are slaves, in this crazy world with crazy boogie men for masters? Not only are we always afraid that one day we might die, but this life is stressful! If we do something they don't like the beat us, they beat us anyway for being together. I almost died for Christ sake! " he sighed, " None of this is normal, we are not normal people, I mean... look at you... look at me... how did we even work together? We are so different, we love each other but to think that somebody like me would end up with someone like you is... a miracle. I love it, I love us, but we both have problems that will take years to get over..."

[Kristopher Roberts]

Kristopher sighed again, "Yes, yes. I know this very well. Oil and water, we don't mix. We can't mix and yet we keep trying like somehow we will find a way to make the two things mix." But the main question was who was the oil and who was the water? Kristopher shook his head and moved across the room, thinking. He then came back and sat on the edge of the bed. The mattress squeaking as he did so.

"Okay, let's do this...because I am still hurt from your words and not ready to come back. How about we just, have some time a part. Not long, but just enough to get some fresh air. I mean, not like the end or anything. Just time to ourselves...like a break becuase I think we both need one at this rate. I mean really, I am yelling at you and you are yelling at me. Plus the littlest of things is seriously setting as off. I mean I could touch a watch right now and you would probably threaten to cut my hair."

The blond raised his hands to his hair, rubbing his blond locks in his confusion. He wasn't sure what to do but he wasn't ready to return to Augusta's side. Not right now at least, however on his wrist, Augusta would be able to catch the glimpse of their old engagement watches.

Kristopher had kept both of them.

"I mean, just for a bit...cause yeah...oil and water...water...and stuff. Hell I DONT know what I am saying at all, Augusta! But I do love you..."