Dearly UnBeloved [Jou]

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Things wouldn't be any different if I hadn't told you then.

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The hallways had been a bit different then, the walls unburnt and the floors without the ash of fights that had not yet happened. He'd been younger by about eleven human years, which was much like a few months to Boogies, and yet he'd still been much more foolish then. His hat was new, a gift from some one precious to him, and he had Aphrodite in his hand. The plant swayed to and fro. He was frozen, however, trapped in the eyes of the giant above him.
Just a fling, just until the other was old enough.
He kept repeating that to himself like forgetting it kill him.
Then again, saying it out loud would also be fatal, wouldn't it?
With a dark expression on his face, the younger Boogie looked away from the gaze of his soon to be ex-lover.
It was only a game, wasn't it?
That's what it had been for Corvus.
"...yeah. There is someone else...I'm sorry..."

Jump ahead eleven years and Cor was still standing, stuck in the same spot he had been way back then. Cigarette caught between his lips, purple smoke drifting towards the ceiling, the male had only grown mentally rather than physically. And that was only because he'd been out in the world again, seeing the cruelties Boogies displayed, rather than staying in the castle with his little spark of fun. Now times had changed, and the little boy he loved loved another man, and he'd officially lost.

That didn't mean he'd given up on Kris.

However, he'd started to go easier on the blonde. Forcing him to choose between himself and Augusta wasn't the nice thing to do. So, being the gentleman he was, Corvus had backed off little by little. Sure he continued to sneak Kris mind-porn whenever the chance came up, but that was purely for fun. It wasn't at all to see his adorable uke-faced reactions. Mostly. Sometimes. Never.

Corvus groaned and hit his head into the wall he leaned against. Dammit, he was such a sap.

But now on the demon-eyed's angle's mind, out of the thoughts of his dear human, were memories he'd pushed off since leaving the castle. Some things were better kept secret, and he kept his own life hidden well out of view from others. It had been pure game that's he'd even tried to have a relationship with that man. He'd been bored, watching Kristopher maturing far to slow for his own liking, and he'd just happened to be there and willing. So what do sexually frustrated Boogies do? Screw whatever's available.

Big mistake. That's exactly what their affair had been.

Aphrodite cooed playfully as Corvus looked at his shoes, guilt and annoyance and fear swirling in his head. His familiar chuckled, then tilted it's 'face' in the giant's direction. Her voice was cold and cruel, but filled with amusement.
"Guess you're out of luck, eh, Jouhnin-kun?"

Biggest mistake ever.

[Jouhnin Takanami]

Eleven human years wasn't much time for a Boogie of his age, it had felt only like minutes. He had known something like this would happen, he could see the signs, he knew he was not cared for. But something stopped him from breaking things off before it got to this point, before he was the one getting his heart broken. If Jouhnin was ever it a fool, this time would have been it.

He should have known, only a fool would have stayed in a relationship they knew wasn't really a relationship at all.

He was careless, he stepped out of his comfort zone once more... And Life wronged him yet again.

The cruelty of Boogies knew no bounds it seemed, bringing him back here was almost to the point of torture. Jouhnin had gotten the younger Boogie sent away for a reason. He didn't want the man to come back... Or at least that's what he told himself. It wasn't that Jouhnin had thrown himself at the other man (dare not speak his name). It just happened that Jou had eyed the man once or twice and things traveled from there. But that was a long time ago, and Jou has suppressed those memories (at least the bad ones) long ago.

Only after believing that there might be something real here, did Jouhnin learned that he was only being jerked around. He had been Corvus Hunter's latest toy, his flavor of the week. Once again, fate seemed to take away everything Jouhnin actually cared about. One thing at a time. But there were either two ways to react to finding out you were being used by another, there was always crying. Or the opposite, anger. At first, Jouhnin had prepared himself, he had known all along that he wasn't actually, truly cared for. It was almost obvious in every step he made. But in his head he was ready, knowing the answer was going to be one he didn't want to hear, so he was alright, of course he was morbidly depressed, but prepared. But once the plant... that damned plant, spoke. Then all Hell was released. And Hell hath no fury like a Jouhnin scorned.

Out of everything in this world, and the humans world, that freakish familiar belonging to the man he swore he'd never speak to again, was the thing he hated most. He would have ripped that thing apart if he hadn't of begged him not to.

He felt his throat close up, he was starting to feel the tears coming to his eyes. He didn't want to cry, god no, he didn't want to cry, not here. Not in front of Corvus. Turing his head to the side he tried to hide his face, he knew tears were going to show but he hated the fact that he cared.
" I swear C--Corvus... I w--will make you h--hurt... You a--and your s--stupid plant!! Even i--if it's the l--last thing I do!!"
Of course the threat was empty. It was obvious when the taller man started silently crying, that his threat was of no real value. But when he turned and walked away he didn't look back, he forced himself not to, even if he really, really wanted just one last glance before the man he 'thought' he loved was sent away on a very long errand.

But the man-who-must-not-be-named was back. And Jouhnin had caught wind of the advances Corvus had made on the blond slave he also hated with a passion. Everyone is Jou's large family knew when Jouhnin found out, because the dining room table somehow grew legs and jumped out a 3rd floor window and down to the cliffs below; of course, not after gaining the ability to speak and spew the most vulgar words at the walls before committing it's suicide.

Of course, while Corvus had grow in mind, Jouhnin had not grown at all. Not in stature, he was still freakishly tall, overly attractive and still weak in the heart. But now he was cold, covering his actual true feelings with a mask of joy, only the ones who knew him well would see how very fake his smile was as of late. And it would be a lie to say that Corvus wouldn't have gotten ugly and dirty looks from Jouhnin's brothers and sisters once he returned. And Jouhnin's closest little sister, only a couple hundred years younger, yelled dirty names at the shorter Boogie at the market one day before promptly kicking mud at him and walking off.

Corvus really chose the wrong gay boy to mess with, not only was Jouhnin spiteful (yet it really was only a mask to hide what he really felt), but his large and extensive family was almost as mean and hurtful as Jouhnin was himself. And as the giant was walking down the halls of the Palace he made not a single sound, he never wore shoes, so there was not a single footstep heard as he made his way out of a room and into the entrance of the palace, he was hoping he could just run out into the market and not have to see anyone or talk to anyone.

Oh well...

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

The sound of footsteps were ignored by Corvus as he took an inhumanly long drag on his signature cigarette. Thank goodness Boogies couldn't get lung cancer, or he'd be dead by now...three thousand years of smoking would do that to any human. It was another way he and Kris were different: one was immune to death-by-death-stick, while the poor blond, who was smoking again much to Cor's dismay, was all to vulnerable. You'd think a doctor would know better.

Then again, maybe that was his point. Be prepared to rush to death, just in case his lover beat him to it.

God knows Corvus had tried that before.

Back when Aaron...

That train of thought was immediately stopped on the tracks as Corvus pushed up from the wall and started up toward the north wing. No way in hell was he doing this to himself: thinking of Kris, Aaron, and Jouhnin all in one day would give him a frickin aneurysm. He pulled his top hat, no longer new, tight over his eyes as he went through one of the many doors. He was going to find Aphrodite and clear his head...

...before he walked right into somebody who was walking out. The top hat slipped from his head and Corvus swore, turning to pick it up, before he noticed something about this newcomer. It wasn't that the guy was taller than him. Nah, most of the Wonderland Boogies were (dammed genetics). It was the fact that this man was a giant, wearing a kimono, and was so dammed handsome Cor's head spun.

Oh fuck.

"J-Jouhnin...kun..."

Red eyes widened to the size of saucers and he backed up, top hat still sitting on the ground ignored and forgotten. For now. Why did he still use that honorific when addressing him? Force of habit, most likely. Or maybe it was just seeing the flamboyant Boogie again. He hadn't changed at all.

[Jouhnin Takanami]

Jouhnin didn't normally let his mind wander, he often left his mind blank, he didn't think about anything really. He tried to keep his memories down. Most of them were horrid and he didn't want to think of them. First Hiroshi and then Corvus and then Augusta. All three were pulled from his cold and lifeless fingers, it seemed that no matter what he wanted, that damn blond always seemed to get it instead. Wat had Jouhnin done wrong to deserve this kind of treatment!? He cursed the heavens and fate as he walked. He bushed his dark black locks behind his ear and sighed.

He was unaware of how horrible this day would turn out. He felt something hit him, hard. He stumbled back a bit, returning to reality. He glanced around then then looked down, adjusting his kimono before he looked up. He stared at the an who just now realized who he was, he of all people should be used to seeing Jou. Jouhnin's face hardened, it was still a beautiful face, but it was dark, cold and harsh. His face was neither a frown nor a smile, it was icy and emotionless.

"J-Jouhnin...kun..."

" Afternoon Mr. Hunter..." He said darkly, this is how it had been since Corvus and him had their little disagreement. And how it'd been since Jou had Corvus sent away. Jouhnin at the time he was with Corvus, was happy. The Boogie wasn't much of a Boogie at all really, he loved humans and was a lot like Cor. But once Jou found out he was just being used, he clammed up. He let the anger and hatred grow and became the standard Boogie, he killed, raped and tortured. He had turned into a monster, and he was tired of this bullshit thing called 'love.' Jouhnin knew that stuff like that didn't actually exist around here.

" You are in my way, Mr. Hunter... I suggest you move...before I remove you..." he said, putting his foot under the hat and flipping it up into his hand. " Permanently..."

" Ugly hat... never suited you well..." he said and shoved it roughly into Corvus's arms before walking around him with odd grace and agility.

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

The coldness in Jouhnin's voice didn't surprise Corvus one it. After all, the sort of warmth he'd once had vanished eleven years ago, due to a certain stupid Boogie taking advantage of him. Said stupid Boogie felt a twinge of guilt that his younger self often ignored, looking into the stoic face before him. A flash of that cheerful, if not childish expression Jou had once worn went through Cor's mind, but it was quickly pushed back, in fear that his talent would leak into the giant's mind.

He didn't want to see Jouhnin's memories...his thoughts...it would only make this meeting worse.

As if this could be any worse.

For a moment Corvus thought the older male was going to step on his precious top hat, but instead he flipped it into his hands before shoving it towards Cor. Corvus took it, a bit stunned, not even able to rebuttal to the threat or the insult. He'd done this to him, right? He'd changed a kind, good Boogie into...well...the stereotypical sort of bastard most Boogies were. The shorter boy stared at the floor, allowing Jouhnin to pass, but not before he failed to block himself from speaking.

"You haven't changed...or...maybe you have," Cor's head turned to follow Jou, rubies glowing. "I know you don't want to see me, but i was good seeing you again...and the person you've become..."

The last bit, a self-chastising "Because of me" was lost to another stab. He'd been so stupid as a kid.

Not that he was any better now.

[Jouhnin Takanami]

As the days were Corvus was gone grew, Jouhnin noticed a lot of things. Mostly how depressed and miserable he was knowing that Corvus didn't even like him at all. And how depressed and miserable he was when he convinced the Elders to send Corvus away, and how miserable he was with Corvus gone. Part of him really didn't care that Corvus loved someone else, part of him just wanted to pretend. Pretend that Corvus liked him, maybe Jou was just that fucking desperate.

It didn't matter anymore, those thing were long gone. Jouhnin didn't like Corvus, at least he tried not to. But it was hard not to fall for a face like that.

"You haven't changed...or...maybe you have, I know you don't want to see me, but i was good seeing you again...and the person you've become..."

Jouhnin stopped walking, he felt something snap in his head. He turned on his heels and pointed a long finger at Coruvs, " Oh, yes I guess I have changed, mostly because of YOU!" he said, his voice wasn't loud but it wasn't soft either. " I don't know how you think this was good at all... seeing your sorry ass again..." he then walked forward a couple steps. He gazed down at the man, poking him roughly in the chest with a manicured nail. " But I assure you Corvus Hunter, me and the person I've become, did not have a good visit with you, even if it was only for a few minutes!"

" So... fuck you!!"

And the taller Boogie back off, not before shoving Corvus roughly away from him. He turned and started to slowly walk off, re-adjusting his hair yet again. Since not a single strand could fall out of place. As the taller man tried to walk away he said loudly (just so Corvus could hear him clearly) " God! I can't believe I thought I loved you... How damn ridiculous!"

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Corvus felt the stabbing feeling in his chest again and again at every word Jouhnin said. Dammit, dammit, dammit he'd been such an idiot as a kid. He should have never had taunted Jou that way. Should have never gone farther than friends. They would have been fine as friends, right? But now that idea was flown waaay out the window. So out the window it had crash landed back at the Takanami house hold with the table.

Yes, even he had heard of that little incident.

The hand holding the hat dropped limp at Cor's side, right on time for Jouhnin to poke at him with a long, slender finger. The shorter Boogie couldn't even look up at him. He was still to afraid he'd see into his mind...or worse, leak some of his own thoughts into Jou's. That would be unfortunate, considering the feelings for Kris were floating about...not to mention the guilt, shame, misery...all very un-Boogie, if not un-Corvus, emotions.

He wasn't surprised by the curse, either. A table through a window...what's a good 'fuck you' in comparison to that?

"I..." The red-eyed man started, watching Jouhnin walk away, before he was cut off once again by that last little statement. It wasn't that Corvus didn't know he'd trampled on Jou's heart. But hearing it from his thoughts eleven years ago compared to hearing him say it out loud not...it was a static zap to a lighting bolt. That much more of a shocker.

Finally, Corvus looked up as his ex-lover walked away. He pulled the top hat back over his raven mess before taking a deep breath, readying himself for an onslaught.

"I missed you, Jouhnin. And..." Cor braced himself subconsciously, allowing a bit of his emotions to seep into Jouhnin's head, "..I'm sorry."

[Jouhnin Takanami]

The abnormally tall Boogie was about to get out of here at 100mph. He wanted to be as far away as he could. He really didn't want to be in this room, this building, hell... even this whole world. A world were he wasn't with Corvus. Dammit! He had to stop thinking like that! He hated Cor, he never wanted to see Cor again. But a nagging voice in his head reminded him of how much he really did want to see Corvus. How much he still loved the Boogie-man that was behind him. And that fact alone drove the older Boogie crazy.

"I missed you, Jouhnin. And...I'm sorry."

Jouhnin stopped in his tracks, his black hair curled around and framed his face as he stay with his back turned. He put a hand to his head, dammit... He couldn't give in. Not now, not ever. He sighed deeply and relaxed himself. " Cor..." Jouhnin always seemed to forget about Corvus's powers, while Corvus never seemed to forget about Jou's.

I missed you too...dammit!! I have to stop thinking like this! He doesn't love me! I can;t let him do this to me anymore! The taller Boogie thought, but with Corvus it was hard to know what was a secret and what wasn't. " Whatever Corvus... You just used me... I was just your plaything... And when you didn't need me anymore you would have just left me anyway..." Jouhnin ran a hand through his long hair, it was down today, instead of being up with a ribbon. " So I don't want your worthless apologies..."

I just wanted you... Ugh! Not again!

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Sometimes Corvus wished he didn't have this ability. It would make things a shit load easier if he could just believe what people said rather than hear their innermost secrets.

She knew Jouhnin still loved him. He knew it all to well.

With a low sigh, Cor took a cautious step closer to the giant Boogie, still ready for if the older man attacked him. "I know I used you. It was a huge mistake..." Again, the feeling of true remorse slipped from his mind and into Jou's head, "I shouldn't have hurt you like that. It was stupid...and foolish...on my part." He shook his head wearily, "You're way to good for me. Ten times better than me. I was an idiot to take advantage of you...but I did..."

More of Cor's ex-lover's thoughts hit him hard. Again, he cursed his power.

"You can hate me for the rest of you life if you'd like. I don't mind..." Corvus glanced up, ruby eyes glowing again with sorrow, "Even if you still.......I'm sorry."

Doesn't change anything...

[Jouhnin Takanami]

Jouhnin had gotten used to not having to worry about anybody listening to his thoughts for awhile now. Ever since Corvus was gone, he didn't have to worry about anybody playing games with his head. So when Corvus talked and let those feelings of his slip into his head he tried his best to ignore it. But really, how do you ignore something like that? He sighed deeply, he tried to keep his composure, he did not need to get emotional right now. The tall boogie turned to look at Corvus, " This still doesn't fix anything Corvus... You may be sorry but you're not the victim here... Ugh..." he put his hands over his face, hoping to keep his emotions down, and it worked. " Everything I actually care about gets ripped from me Corvus, Just because you get sent away for 11 years doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly change my mind about being upset and become your best friend and everything will turn out fine. It... It doesn't work like that... "

Jouhnin shook his head a bit and ran a hand through his hair. " Sure you may have had to leave here for 11 years, but at least you got what you wanted! All you needed was something to do to pass the time while that damned slave grew up! " he paused, obviously holding back his feelings, " But what I got was 11 years of trying to piece my life back together, and since you were gone I didn't even get to admire you from a distance. I was stuck here, pondering overt everything... And then my own slave goes off and takes away the one you love! How fucking ironic...!"

Jouhnin chuckled then, not the kind one Corvus would remember, but the one he acquired from the time Cor was gone. " Funny how Karma seems to get everyone in the end huh?" the Boogies voice was bitter, cruel, and just plain mean. He had changed for worse since these 11 years had gone by, that much was obvious.

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Even if Jouhnin could hide his face, Corvus had been with him for too long not to know when the older man was hurting. It was painful just to watch...and even more so to feel for himself. Thank you very much you fucking headache of a gift. The demon-eyed angel looked at the floor while Jou spoke, remorse turning into the same sort of guilt he'd felt when he'd left the palace, right after breaking the Boogie's heart.

Stupid me.

"I know I'm not the victim. Dammit, Jouhnin, I know that all to well..." Red eyes threatened to stare holes through the carpet, "I was an idiot to lead you on. And an even bigger idiot to let you...fall in love with me."

The moment the subject of Kris came up, guilt flew out the window, replaced with an anger Cor didn't even understand. He glared up at his ex-lover, now almost trying to burn a hole in his forehead. "Yeah, okay, I was using you because I was bored! Guess what? I told you I was using you on day one!! The reason you got hurt was your own damn fault!" He growled softly, clenching his fists. "And it's because of you I got sent away, so don't act like you missed me! You got the fucking hierarchy to ship me off!!"

Corvus paused at that cold, empty laugh. That was new. But he was a bit to angry right now to care.

"Karma's a bitch. But then again, it got you, didn't it?" He sneered, "I may have lost Kristopher, but you lost Augusta in the process didn't you? I lose one, you lost both of us."

[Jouhnin Takanami]

At the whole concept of love, Jouhnin found himself in an awkward position. Sure, Corvus was right, he did fall in love with him. Hell, Jou still had strong feelings for the boogie. But he wanted to hate Cor in every way possible for what he did. He needed to blame somebody. But it hurt him even more to be angry at Corvus. He was mostly jealous really. Him and Cor were in the same boat, they both loved someone who didn't love them back.

At least not enough.

Jouhnin watched as Corvus changed when Kris was brought into the picture. A sly smile came to Jouhnin's face, " I did get the rest of the elder to send you away... I was angry... And at the time I never wanted to see you again. " The dark haired man paused for a second before the smile drifted and dissipated. " I was too naive to see how wrong I was... But it seems too late now" he muttered. Though when Corvus kept talking Jouhnin tried not to kill the other man. But his anger boiled over. He not only had mixed feelings about Corvus, but was allready angry in the first place.

With two good strides Jouhnin grabbed Corvus by the collar, lifted him up and slammed the man against the nearest wall. The oddly beautiful man stared at Corvus's crimson eyes for what seemed like ages. " I never thought I'd say this to you but..." he paused a second before slowly setting the man back on the ground. He was gentler, kind even when he out Corvus down.

" But I truly, very truly... hate you..."

Which wasn't really a lie, he did hate Corvus... But also loved him as well.

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Corvus was expecting Jouhnin to get angry at his little outburst. He’d crossed one line too many this time, bringing up Augusta. And hell hath no fury like a…well, you get the point. However, anticipating anger aside, Cor did not expect to be picked up by the collar and slammed into the wall. It was the second time this had happened since he’d returned, first with Tristan and now this…but for some reason, it hurt much, much more this time. His eyes wide and back of head aching, he listened to the giant Boogie in fear and pain.

“Jou…”

Even when he was set down, the pain from his ex-lover’s words stabbed right through his chest. It actually caused him to falter back a step so he was against the wall again. Why did that hurt so much? Because it’s Jouhnin saying it to me. But why did it hurt now? Corvus was over Jouhnin by a long shot, but it had taken some time. Obviously not as long as it had taken Jou…no, wait, he’s still not over it…so of course he must hate me…but why does it hurt so much hearing those words, now, when I saw it coming a mile away?

Despite his best attempt at hiding it, the pain was clear in his eyes and the slight emotion that dripped from his mind. Realizing how vulnerable he was right now, the younger (and stupider) Boogie grabbed both side of his top hat and stuffed it over his head, hiding his face quite well. It was a ridiculous, childish motion, but he was feeling more than a little hatred right now…for himself. That was auto-phobia for you.

Heaven help me if I have an attack...

[Jouhnin Takanami]

Jouhnin stood, his face reflected pain back at Corvus. It was more of a lingering ache in his heart, knowing that the man he loved would never love him back. It was horrible to realize but Jouhnin was going to try to get over this. He had done it once before. He had dealt with his first love dying, which he had to admit was easier then this. Jou watched as his ex-lover hid under that stupid hat. Jouhnin felt his heart tear and he sighed. " You... ugh... You're making me more insane then I already am..." he said softly.

Jouhnin reached out and put his hand under Corvus's chin, and lifted the man's face up. His long finger here cold and his silver-painted and manicured nails then ran across the mans cheek softly. " Don't look like that... I..." he sighed and pulled his hand back as if Corvus's skin was going to burn him. " I... angry... I won't deny that. But I... You know I can't stay angry at you for long... at least not for real..." He said softly and looked around.

The taller Boogie ran a hand through his silky black hair. " I just have horrible luck... and wishes that don't come true..." he said and laughed bitterly. He looked out the window nearby and watched the bustling world below. He sighed again and tugged awkwardly at his kimono. Ugh, his poor heart couldn't handle much more of this.

[Corvus "Raven" Hunter]

Corvus couldn't see anything through the black fabric of his hat. When Jouhnin spoke, he tried his best to ignore him, trying to focus on not having a panic attack, but the moment that cool finger brushed against his face...the younger Boogie's face lit up like a match. You think he'd be used to being touched by his ex-lover, but that didn't seem to calm his blushing in any way. If anything it made it worse. And, despite his better reasoning, he was sorta sad when Jou withdrew his touch. At least the hat would cover the blush.

Cor hoped it would anyway. In reality, it really didn't.

Crap.

"Jouhnin..." the raven-haired Boogie pulled the hat up just a little so he could peek deep, ruby eyes up at the giant. Wishes don't come true, huh? That sounded awfully familiar. "...Jou, you know I'm sorry...I sorry I used you because I couldn't have what I wanted..." Cor lowered his gaze and his hat again, "...but..." almost on an impulse, Corvus reached his hand out and caught Jou's wrist as it fiddled with his kimono, "...your luck isn't that horrible...I mean..."

What did he mean?

Corvus realized he was still holding the man's wrist. He let go with a little yelp and an even pinker face.

"...er...sorry...I don't know why I did that..."