I Bet Me A Bet [Garland]

[Naelona Ezel]

It had taken her a short while to notice, and even longer while to confirm it wasn't there, but Naelona Ezel was missing a pipe. Not just any pipe - a very fine pipe. One of her favorites was gone from her quarters. It was a miracle she hadn't noticed it sooner, but she had now and the Ezel was on her own little warpath within her quarters. She'd about searched everything in the past few days - two, three times. No rest gave one ample time to do some menial, time consuming tasks. Her mind was too far fatigued for the tedious paperwork or more mentally intensive duties her position and reputation demanded. But searching was easy. And search she had.

Her door had been replaced in short order, but it wasn't the same aged wood that she'd had before. If felt.. strange and new. Too light to be a proper door, but there it was. At least it kept out the hallway draft better than the last one. True, the North Wing was crafted much better than the South, but even their side had it's faults. Speaking of which - it had been the only unauthorized entry of her Quarters since...well.. just about ever.

Grumbling as she trans versed the hall, her words kept slipping between English and their own ancient boogie tongue. She by no means was a master of it, but she was better than most of the 'young upstarts' her age. Even a bit beyond her age. But Ancient wasn't the point of her ponderings, just a particular mad boogie who spoke it like only ancients could. Garland Von Clossen had kicked in her door, and gone into her quarters. The Ezel at the time had been trying to work her way out of a lasso, and dealing with a pestering, maddening, headache-of-a-boogie Shaehern Azhrarn to pay as much attention as she preferred - but he was her first and so far only suspect.

And he was just mad enough to do it. ... effin' pirate.

"Von Clossen.." Naelona hissed under her breath. She'd made one - no two.. two and a half? Ah, bah-humbug, just call it two - two rounds of the Palace in search of him. He really was one of those individuals that one could never find when they really wanted to, the sort that never went away when they needed to either. Pausing at the huge tree - why was this still here? - she was beginning to conclude the best way to find him was to not even look for him at all. He was probably hiding thinking it was some game. How do you find someone who's playing a hiding game to come out of hiding? Convince them you're not looking for them of course.

Dropping down into a chair - the same one Anolean had stolen for himself the other week - Naelona sank into the chair, draping her legs over one side and leaning against the other. Looking up at the tree her eyes narrowed, pointing at the star on the very top. "I'm on to you.." she growled determinedly, leveling an accusing finger at the star upon the very top. She'd find him yet, oh yes.. she would find him.

[Garland Von Clossen]

Garland Von Clossen was a slippery fish to catch. When one forgot about him he was prone to show up and 'enlighten' someone about an obscure past that could very well be nothing but a tall tale. When you did remember him? That could only mean one of two things: You were either bound to not find him until you forgot about him or that something extremely spectacular was going to happen this day. Naelona was on the prowl for the old coot and she would find him. Today was going to be one of those extraordinary days!

It had been a while since he had taken the lovely pipe... How long? A week? Four months? Last night? It wasn't important. What was important was the plant that she used in her pipe. It was absolutely glorious! He had spent a few days wandering around, very aware that Naelona would be searching for her toy. It was very nice, after all... But it gave him such a distinct look! And air of... regality? Yes, a nice word to add to his already wacky vocabulary. He was sure that he had heard or read it before, but never officially indoctrinated it into his daily use of words.

He had even bought more of the flora to sustain his new habit. Of course he could afford a much more refined version, but it did not have the same love in it. Garland even went back to the market to simply trade the higher grade stuff for Naelona's usual spice. It seemed proper. Had it somehow stained the pipe, blending the taste and making all other bitter? Perhaps, but it was still soemthing to enjoy nonetheless!

The blue smoke also enthralled him. He could sit for hours puffing the smoke and watching the strange shape form in various objects. He would wave his hand through them, feeling warmth from the smoldering end as he touched the azure clouds. Ah... so much fun! What shape was that? Why, simply a bird, soaring into the heavens to meet it's maker and end it's mortal coil in this wretched plane! The next? Ah, a grumpy woman on the search for her missing pipe... Did he know someone like that? Garland could have sworn he... oh, the next one was different! It appeared to be strong man, looming over him with a giant sword, ready to cleave his head right of his shoulders! ...but Garland squinted and saw past what most would.

A bunny rabbit.

The last image frightened him, causing him to leave his quarters. "Damn rabbits..." Garland muttered to himself, leaving without a puppet this time. They would stay in his room and guard against any sort of rodent assassins that would attempt to end his life in his sleep to obtain his horde of carrots... As he walked down the halls, pipe proudly displayed between his lips, he saw Naelona walking down another hallway. She wasn't facing him and he thought about calling out to her. She was rather boring and could always use a bit of spice in her life. Garland gave a moments thought to this. He did seem to peeve her off with his pirate game... Best to leave her alone today. Let her be busy and happy for once!

As she went towards the South Wing for some reason (To find those rabbits? Perhaps she knew of their evil plot as well...), he went to the palace's vast entrance. He stood for a long time by the tree, admiring it's beauty. The pipe had gone out only minutes before, but he thought that giving his lungs a break would be nice. The crazy boogie skipped into a side parlor and drew the curtains. Alone, sat in one of the chairs. It was so soft and warm... A fire was roaring next to him... The eccentric man quickly fell asleep.

Hours later, with Naelona not more than fifty yards away, Garland woke with a start, wielding the pipe like a sword. Looking left and right, he saw that there were no bunnies... yet. Sighing in relief, he moved to the fire place and drew a small pouch from his breast pocket. Filling 'his' wonderful new contraption, he used the flames to ignite it in a way so complex the human mind could not comprehend how he managed it. Garland Von Clossen did manage to light the pipe and the familair odor and blue smoke drifted in the air again, filling the small, dark, and warm room quickly. "Ah... This is the life..." The ancient man said softly, sitting back in the chair with his eyes closed and bare feet on a plush ottoman. Perhaps he would take a break from antics today... Who was he kidding?! After this smoke maybe he would try to sled using one of pots from the kitchen... That would be exciting!

Little did he know that even with the curtain draw there was a small sliver between the crimson fabric. A thin, blue tendril of smoke escaped the parlor and entered the main entrance, odor following close behind. It woud start of a small, almost unnoticeable thing... But Naelona would catch on soon enough to the location of her prize.

[Naelona Ezel]

Sitting in the chair, it seemed to become more comfortable at the moment. Within minutes Nae was feeling the pull of fatigue upon her eyes and the call of sleep tugging at her mind. Maybe just a little.. short nap.. wait no - she couldn't nap, not here. It was bad enough she slept as poorly as she did within her own Quarters. The rest of Wonderland didn't need to be equally informed on her par non-existent rest.

Fighting off the deceptive lull of sleep, something shortly started to tingle her nose. Wrinkling her nose, Naelona made a face, rubbing her eyes briefly before looking around for the source. She had no idea where it'd come from. Sliding out of the chair Naelona walked a few wobbling steps away from the chair and that abomination of a tree. There was a smell here, a very faint one.. some where.

Following one hallway she paused and tried to pick it up again, but no luck. Wandering a bit it seemed she might have lost it, before circling back the other direction - she caught a whiff of it again. Sniffing the air again, Naelona's coal colored eyes narrowed - she knew that smell. She knew it very very well. It was the smell of blue smoke, smoke that came from a distinctive pipe - hers, in fact. A very particular pipe that was also peculiarly missing. She had others - sure - but no-one else she knew of used the same things she did.

Finally heading in the right direction it took the Ezel a while to find exactly where it was centered. Before her were some red curtains, and faintly.. ever so faintly a blue wisp of smoke drifted out. Naelona paused, considering who might or might not be inside. There was still the small chance she was barking up completely the wrong tree and it was no-one related to her missing pipe at all. Or worse - she was hallucinating again - but there was really only one way to find out.

Gently moving the curtain aside Naelona peered in. A blue haze met her vision, and a very.. very familiar looking boogie. Suddenly throwing open the curtain, Naelona strode in as angry as though she'd caught him red-handed herself. ...in a way she somewhat had. "Garland Von Clossen!!" Naelona snapped at him suddenly. It was always a good indicator of Nae's ire when she used full names. She might have included his middle if she knew it, but that would've been a bit of overkill. "You have my pipe! You thief!" Thrusting out her hand, she held it out palm up expectantly. "I demand you return it to my possession immediately."

[Garland Von Clossen]

"Dear Francis!" Garland shouted, eyes flying open with the sudden intrusion. He was also scared into reeling backward, taking the chair with him. His feet remained in the air and the pipe in his mouth. It was comical... unless you were an angry Ezel. Hell, even an Ezel, Garland mused. Garland sat up, peering between his legs at Naelona, the pipe limply held by his lips. "Why, if it isn't my favorite grump!" Garland said cheerily, his heart beginning to slow down. Things could have been much worse. She could have been a rabbit.

He peered at her for a moment, wondering whether or not he should put the effort to catch the words in his mind what she had just said. They were so fleeting that they sometimes just... vanished. Like right now. "To what do I owe this unusual encounter, Miss Ezel?" Garland asked, the same tone of happiness in his voice. It was not proper to talk to an Ezel from the ground! Though, they may think they walk all over everyone, they could not trounce on him quite yet! At least in a metaphorical sense. Garland lay back down on the chair, as if it had never been knocked down at all.

He played with the pipe in his mouth, moving it left and right, angled to keep any painful embers that sought freedom away from his face. "Oh... I get it..." He said after a moment. "You've come to bet me again, haven't you?" Garland asked, eying her from his comfortable yet eccentric position. "Fine, you have convinced me. What do you wish to wager and what is the game? I ACCEPT!" He shouted, laughing heartily immediately after. A game was always fun! "Chances, chances are so fun~" A childish giggle escaped his lips as he chanted, clapping his hands together wildly. "Well? Come on!" He continued, his accent that humans understood as 'British' ringing clearly. "Tell me the game before I explode with excitement!"

[Naelona Ezel]

Waiting expectantly, her empty outstretched hand gradually began to develope an urge to come into swift contact with her forehead. Typical Garland. And he still had the cheek to as what this was about! Hadn't she just stated that?! "You stole. my. pipe!" Wiggling her fingers, it didn't seem to have any effect as he stayed reclined in the toppled chair. After a moment Naelona canted her head to the side, one sleepy bit of her mind wondering if maybe he'd been like that the entire time. True, exhaustion wasn't far off, it never had been the past few days and it made her memory hazy now and again but no - she was pretty sure he'd fallen infront of her.

Ooh.. her poor pipe.. that poor molested metal! It would have to live in boiling water for a time after this just to get the contamination of his lips off of that precious crafted possession of hers. She didn't want to consider what else it may also have been contaminated with during his possession of it. There were just some things even Naelona Ezel wouldn't dare to question let alone consider. The boogie suppressed a shudder. It was best left not known.

Naelona found - of all things - her rolling her eyes at the boogie. He was as bad as a child in an adults body - no, worse. Children could still be disciplined. Garland was his own brand of difficulty. "Yes, it's called 'Give Naelona her Pipe'. You hand me my pipe within the next ten seconds and you win, if not, you lose. It's that simple." She'd rather he not explode, that would be considerably messy and not to mention the smell.. entrails were a horrible and smelly things to clean up.

"Well? Come on! The clock's ticking Von Clossen!"

[Garland Von Clossen]

Garland put a hand on his chin as he listened to Naelona's reasoning to hunt him down. He stole? Surely he would never! Taking a puff of the luscious smoke he instantly recalled that he did steal it. Ah, correction, he plundered the hell out of it. Garland nodded when the woman spoke, closing his eyes as if in deep thought. She did seem upset. Very upset. Now why? Usually it was just a stern talking to about not force feeding carrots to passersby. Though, on a second and third thought, he did ste- plundered from her. Perhaps if she pirate-proofed her room it wouldn't have been a problem! Must pay for mistakes!

Opening his eyes, Garland saw the woman in a new light. Her usually pristine condition was very... off. A good fifteen percent off, if he were to guess. Her hair was not pulled into the perfect rows she was known for, nor was her dress well kept. A restless night? Perhaps she had joined a wrestling club that he did not know of and suddenly remembered that he had taken her pipe and demanded vengeance in the ring? Whatever was going on with this boogie, Garland would not relinquish his favorite new toy.

"Hold up now, Miss Ezel," Garland started, rolling backwards and into a standing position that most would not think a man his age would not be capable of. "I think we need to clarify. What do I get if I win? Or what do I get if I lose? Surely you haven't forgotten that portion of a bet?" Garland strode forward and leaned in toward the other boogie, leaving her enough room to be less comfortable than normal. "Wow me, Naelona! Make this worth giving up the precious Ezel Pipe of Von Clossen, as it is to be known until I come up with a better name. Oh, oh!" He started, jumping up and down the pipe tracking his mouth. "Ferlnelturkit-lagh!" He exclaimed, taking the pipe out and hugging it to his chest.

Embers flaked out of the pipe but bounced harmlessly off his jacket, Garland muttering to himself about being such a great namer. "Hm... It may be best to translate it, ya know? Don't want humans to get this sort of power over us!" Chuckling, the pipe began to spin between his fingers, a blur to the human (and some boogie) eye. The years of card trick had made his fingers dexterous enough to do the feat with relative ease.

[Naelona Ezel]

Damn. Dratted fool wasn't going for it this time. "If you win you get the satisfaction of knowing you beat the clock and didn't lose, Von Clossen. If you lose you will have to yield the pipe over to me and walk in shame for the rest of the day or suffer further rather wrath." For a brief moment Naelona thought she might have succeeded when Garland came near her.. a little too near. All was not as she had hoped and a 'easy victory' apparently didn't seem to be the case as he was still blathering on and the pipe was still in his possession.

For a bit by the moment Naelona's desire to retrieve her treasured object from Garland was slightly decreasing the more she watched him fondle and slobber upon the object. It would have to be boiled in hot water - very hot water - for an entire day before she considered touching it again let alone nearing it even remotely close to her lips. Maybe she could have the metal melted down and re-crafted into something of even finer detail. That should get rid of any contamination the fool had bestowed upon it.

Naelona folded her arms and took a good step back to distance herself from Garland Von Clossen. He was older than the hills but Naelona still insisted she held rank above him, and thus he should be listening to her words and obeying her requests. His age demanded respect, yes, but as far as this tired Ezel was concerned that didn't entitle him to much more than that.

"Perhaps there is something else you would prefer to bet upon, in place of the pipe? Some other terms in that dark demented mind of yours, Master Garland." Drumming her fingers upon her arm, weak shades drifted at her feet while Naelona stayed within the shadow of a tall curtain. "Do think quickly Garland, less the fates tire of you and bring some other ill upon us all." Pinching the bridge of her nose, the line was more to herself than to the eccentric boogie. Couldn't it just be stolen from him? No, not quite. He was taller, faster, and no doubt stronger than her. Her fatigued mind was having a difficult time enough keeping head of him. How did one of such a state combat a being of such eccentricity?

Perhaps it would be necessary to play his silly little game. Just this once.

[Garland Von Clossen]

"Now who is the crazy one?" Garland laughed, stepping backwards and sitting on the front of the seat of the topple chair. "Beat a clock... They can't do anything to defend themselves! Silly Nae-Nae..." Garland replaced the pipe between his lips and lay his cheeks on both his hands, watching the woman before him. The shade indicated some inner emotions. Annoyance? Frustration? Flatulence? It was hard to tell. "Hm..." Garland tilted his head left and right, rocking it back and forth as he smiled at his friend. Would she ever admit that they were super secret ultra awesome best friends that would withstand the test of time, space, and some more time? No, but Garland knew deep within his old heart that she knew it. It was why she cracked down so hard on him, right?

Or she was a tight ass.

Garland sat up straight when it was proposed that he proposed a proposition for her. What and excellent idea! Two jets of smoke leaked out of the corners of his mouth as he sat silently, contemplating. "Hm... A bet? A bet is always fun, and it leaves it to our good friend Fate to decide who is the winner and who will succumb to the mighty will of the statically victorious!" A gleam entered his blue eyes as he stood once again, leaning forward, though not approaching this Ezel.

"Why don't we put this past the pipe, my dearest? There could be a way that would allow one of us to actually achieve a sense of progress with the other." Chuckling, he removed the pipe and pointed it at Naelona as he spoke. "Why not bet a week or so of our own time to the winner? I know how you long to 'correct' me, Miss Ezel. And I've made it clear that I will get you to have fun in some way, shape, or form that is outside your drab and dreary gray colored life." Reaching into his pocket, he held a fist out to Naelona. "And we can solve it here and now." Turning over his hand it opened to reveal two die, one white with black numbers and the other the inverse. The numbers were written in ancient and the cubes looked of aged stone not seen in the palace.

"If I win, I get to keep the pipe and you will join me for a single twenty-four hour period and you must assist me in all my fun and games." He straightened his back and put the metal friend that Naelona had known for more years than him in his mouth. He pulled from the weed a few times before allowing the smoke to drift idly out of his open mouth, removing the pipe again. "And if you win I will submit to your will for a week and follow every stupid rule you put forth. Are these terms agreeable?"

[Naelona Ezel]

Drat. He wasn't buying it. Not that Naelona believe he was enough of an idiot to bite into a prank clever enough to trick only a child, but it was worth a shot. Garland certainly acted like one often enough to make a boogie reconsider. Standing up a little straighter Naelona reconsidered the situation while keeping a close eye on Garland's proximity to her somber being. She could still come out victorious from this.. she was the boogie who always won her bets after all.

"I dislike disappointment, however setting aside an entire week of my time from duties for mere frivolities is beyond my capabilities, Mr. Von Clossen." Even for a bet, it was a wager far too high and precarious for her to take. There was too much chaos that could happen, so many things that could go wrong while she was absent. It simple wasn't acceptable."It is my 'drab and dreary gray' life that allows you to enjoy your more.. colorful.. one." The word came about a bit forced. It was beings akin to Garland that drove her ambitions and determination to not let Wonderland dissolve into chaos and disorder, ironically it was also the same sort of beings she was obligated to watch out for. Even if that meant protecting them from themselves, save that technically fell into a slightly different department..

Regarding the dice, Naelona waited until the terms were voiced before reaching and selecting the black one with white print. Absently rolling it about within her hand, a critical gray eye full upon the boogie. Logic and reason didn't condone such actions, nor did either habit encourage them but something about bets and gambling had always appealed to Naelona. Simply put it was difficult to turn down one, especially when there was something valuable to gain.

"Every rule.. to the letter..?" Clasping her hand about the die the faint smirk almost graced her lips. "There terms are agreeable, Von Clossen. I accept them." As the die rolled about within her palm her hand briefly turned over palm downward as the dark cube rolled across the tops of her fingers, only to pass her thumb in fall into her hand again. "And the terms of the throw..?" Highs? Lows? Best three out of five? There were so many ways to select a winner.. or to divine the loser.

[Garland Von Clossen]

"Poor Nae-Nae!" Garland said, clutching his white die to his chest, a sincere look of sadness on his face. "You truly try to bear the weight of the world on those pale, skinny, pale, pale shoulders." Garland tsk'd a few times and shook his head. "No man or woman can control the entire world, Miss." The boogie looked at the woman for a few more moments in silence, mourning her lost fun. In a sudden movement, the die hand was above his head and a hand had reached into his jacket, withdrawing a worn piece of folded paper. In a flick of his wrist, the paper unfolded part ways. Shaking it once more, he held it to his face, half hidden to Naelona.

"I have this conversion chart I made up here, Miss Ezel," Garland began, eyes darting between her and the paper. "We shall use this to determine who wins and who loses, fair?" He asked, leaning backwards, gracefully tumbling over the toppled chair and ending up in the inverted seat. The arm holding the die still remained in the air, shaking the cube. The object was released, hitting a wall and rolling next to the chair. Turning himself around, Garland, paper still in hand, peered over the end of the seat and looked down at it. The die had landed on a two.

"Now, according to my chart..." Garland straightened his paper and looked at it, being careful to make sure Naelona did not cheat and look at it. "If you rolled a three you would lose, but a six would trounce me." Looking up at Naelona with a wide grin, he held up a thumb in positive manner. "I have spent eons balancing it, much like that human game of rocks destroying blades and rocks losing to the flimsy paper. Can we play now, Nae?!" The excitement picked up quickly and his eyes got wider. "Oh, please let's play! I dozed off and haven't had time for games today! You'll be my first!"

...for today.

[Naelona Ezel]

The boogie man was more animated than a sleep-deprived, sugar laden child during a festival. However he was terribly misinformed. It wasn't the weight of the world she carried, let alone did she have any dissolutions of controlling it - just a part of it which for a number of years she had done just fine, thank you very much. Mostly. There were sanity-deprived anomalies that tended to crop up now and again, but they were rare. Naelona's glare at Garland did not waiver. Persistent, but rare.

A conversion chart was completely acceptable. It meant the madman couldn't be making things up off the top of his head as mad minds tended to do. "A properly drawn chart is acceptable to me." A chart she would have to keep a very close eye upon just so he couldn't swap it out for something else. Not that Garland seemed like the particular variety to do such a thing, but stranger things have been known to happen amidst rings, tables and dice.

Naelona's tired brain struggled a little, but she had a hunch she might understand the rules. The children called it 'rock, paper, scissors' if she recalled it properly. A method of hand signals denoting items - each one defeating or succumbing to another predetermined signal. If this were the same case with dice.. one and twos beat threes and fours, which in turn beat five and sixes which beat one's and twos... was it not? She could play this game.

Well if it was a six she needed.. rolling the die around within her cupped hand Naelona crouched down and sent the black die tumbling across the floor. End over end, numbers flashing in and out of sight until it finally fell still, a simple number showing upwards for all their eyes to see. A six.

There were reasons Naelona won these sort of things.

[Garland Von Clossen]

"Good roll!" Garland congratulated, smiling at his friend. Now, friend was a word that this man threw around often, relating himself to people as such the moment he had swapped introductions. A few may escape this rule, such as those vile boogies that lurked the dungeons and ruins of the godforsaken earth. Naelona was just dull, not godforsaken. He even went as far as to offer a polite clap for the younger being. "Seems you bested me on this one. Another?" He asked.

Without waiting, Garland scooped up his die. "You're already ahead of me. Odds lie in your favor, Miss Ezel! Do you not fancy to continue your dance with Lady Luck? I hear she is quite the stepper. She can be waltzing you into fortune on moment and BAM!" Garland threw his die straight down and watched it bounce and roll. "The next you're in a mildly paced contemporary style. I've only ready how dreadful those songs can be. Hey, mayhaps you would like them!" He teased, blue eyes neve leaving his gambling tool.

The white stone spun on a corner, the speed masking what faces that could be the outcome. It finally began to slow and finally rested. Another two. Seeing this, Garland jumped up to his feet, both arms in the air. "WOO!" The cheer was very enthusiastic. "Good luck on this roll, dearest!" Chuckling, Garland took a more normal sitting style on the seat. He sat where one's calves usually rested, a leg crossed over the other and a smug smirk on his face. "Or do you fear that you may lose yet?"

[Naelona Ezel]

Naelona was hardly one to consider 'forsaken', though a glance from an unknowing eye might consider otherwise. The term didn't even factor into her mentality. One wasn't chosen or left but rather crafted the world about them to be suit their intentions - or to suit the fates of the very world itself. It was the latter concept the hazy-minded boogie woman ascribed to.

"Mister Von Clossen.. I fear nothing." Scooping up the die within her hand she soon had it rolling about her palm in much the similar fashion to just a few moments before. "I don't believe you have ever heard nor understood the rumors, have you?" Referring of course to herself and reputed history with bets and the roll of the die. She feared nothing, and it was wins that backed up her reputation. It worked wonders in rounds of bets composed mostly of bluffing. The thoughts of many boogies often got the best of them for her.

Sending the black die tumbling across the floor once again, bouncing against the wall and rolling back a few feet before settling to a stop. It was a polar opposite of her last roll, much like how her die was an inverse counterpart to her competitor's. A single dot shown up to meet their faces. It was a simple one. "So what does your chart tell you about that, Von Clossen?" Scooping up the die once she knew he had seen it, Nae straightened and resumed rolling it about within her hand.

"Have they deserted you yet or are they still dancing in my favor?"