Returning the Favor [Piper]

[Elric Vlarintos]

This world was often filled with an ugly sort of violence that seemed to follow people wherever they went. Anyone with eyes could look around and see the horrors that went on in this place, but some of those eyes would rather ignore the pain and suffering. In this way the wonders of Wonderland reflected the real world rather well. It was nearly poetic how those who ignored suffering long enough eventually stopped seeing it around them.

Showing concern for another human being in this hellhole was a sign of weakness that others might use against you. Elric had played that game once before when he was younger, and it had not ended well. Instead of brooding on the past he had simply moved on with a resolution not to let such things come to pass again. Years were spent not really caring about those people who suffered around him, and it probably was the only thing that had kept him alive this long.

Unaware that there was any wound for time to heal he had started to socialize with a few people. There was very little he had to say or that he felt comfortable talking about, but he knew that there were people watching out for him now. Piper was the first and most important of those people. In return for her kindness Elric kept an eye on her in case she fell into a dark spot. He did not know exactly why, but she had been much more distant recently (at least when he had seen her). Concern for the problems of others was uncharacteristic, but Piper was a friend.

Elric shifted his weight uncomfortably from his perch on her bed. What was he going to say when she walked in? Figuring out what to say never had been his strong suit. What would he do if she didn't want to talk about it?

Maybe he'd just wing it for once.

[Piper Wren]

Piper had been distant for a time and for good reason, although Wonderland was a world which seemed to breed violence against humans. Although it was commonplace, she didn't want to openly show her own wounds...her run in with Iugo had left her shaken to the core, thinking about it still made her feel cold all the way into her bones. The way he had laughed when he snapped her fingers one by one and after growing bored of that he had turned to a traditional beating. The young woman thought herself lucky to get out of that in one piece, although she didn't tell anyone about it and had carefully set her own fingers which caused just as much pain as when they were broken. Most of the bruising could be hidden by her layers of clothing but the heavy black eye which was still healing was harder to hide. She did her best of course, keeping her head down while she walked anywhere so her hair covered her face like a protective curtain.

She didn't say anything to anyone about it...people gave her that look as if they were going to but seemed to think better of it. Over the last couple of weeks Piper had spent a lot of time in the library, doing her best at distracting herself and most of the time it worked. Losing herself in the stories of another person's life...One person she had done her best to avoid completely was Elric, the last thing she needed was for him to think anything had happened, she didn't know what his response would be but Piper would rather not take the chance.

One thing she wasn't expecting was for someone to be in her bedroom when she came back for the evening, due to paranoia kicking in...more than once Iugo had turned up in her bedroom when she wasn't expecting it. Immediately panicking and not even taking a second to look that her visitor wasn't Iugo, Piper used her right hand, it was the only one with all the fingers working afterall to pick up a lamp from the chest of drawers and throw it as hard as she could at the person sitting on the bed.

"Leave me alone!!"

Not the best of throws...her dominant hand was suffering with three broken fingers afterall.

[Elric Vlarintos]

The door opened and Elric had wanted to make sure it was Piper. He could have expected just about anyone who lived in the room to walk in, but he was relieved when he saw it was Piper. A dark corner of his mind felt a little more concerned after seeing her a little closer. The body language conferred an entirely different attitude than he was used to. "Piper, I just wanted to-"

Whatever Elric had wanted to say was cut short by Piper's yelling. "Leave me alone!" she said, before lobbing a lamp at his head. Elric put up his hand to block the projectile, but it ended up nowhere near the intended target. Instead it broke into several pieces while stirring up little swirls of dust. Elric looked from the wrecked lamp to Piper with a raised eyebrow as he tried to crack a weak smile. "We need to work on your aim," he offered as a joke to try and defuse the situation. In the back of his head he noted that she had used the wrong hand to throw it, but didn't make any further comments about it.

"I thought we could talk a little bit," he said. The end of his sentence trailed off like he was considering adding something. He did not and it just hung awkwardly in the air for a moment. Elric continued to fidget a little nervously on her bed. Talking frankly with people was definitively out of his comfort zone.

[Piper Wren]

We need to work on your aim,"

Piper took a proper look at her visitor after recognising the voice, she had just thrown a lamp at Elric...well attempted to throw it, the thing hadn't gotten close enough to hit him, that was a good thing in this case. If it actually had been Iugo then no doubt throwing a lamp wouldn't have done anything in that case either. But it was a frightened act, not really thought through properly. Not something she would normally do, if things were all well and good with Piper that wouldn't be in her pattern of behaviour. She kept her head bowed slightly so her hair stayed over one side of her face.

"Elric! I'm sorry, I thought you were...someone else."

"I thought we could talk a little bit,"

Talk about what? A slight feeling of nausea settled into the pit of Piper's stomach, she had an inkling that she wasn't going to like this. Carefully she moved her bad hand with three fingers strapped together behind her back, unbuttoning her sleeve so it flopped down to cover her hand, only the tips of her fingers visible beneath the fabric. Luckily the rest of her bruising was easily hidden beneath her clothing. Piper didn't move from her spot by the door, leaving Elric sitting on her bed looking just as uncomfortable as she felt. There was a moment of awkward silence before Piper finally brought herself to speak.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

[Elric Vlarintos]

Elric reached up to the collar of his jacket and straightened it out with a forced calmness. The fabric was well-worn and smooth and it seemed a relief to have the familiarity with him for a moment longer before he took the plunge into the unknown depths of conversation. He brushed his hair back with a stroke of his hand before he took in everything that had already happened in the few brief seconds that he had been here. Throwing the lamp had been a visceral response. She had thought Elric was someone else, a simple mistake to make if you didn't really take a good look. The bigger question on Elric's mind was who did she think he was to warrant a reaction like that?

A few moments of awkward silence passed before she asked, "What is it that you wanted to talk about?" The truth be told, Elric was not entirely certain what he wanted to talk about. Breaching the topics he wanted to touch on seemed very difficult to do delicately, but he would have to be delicate if he wanted to help her.

"You have been distant lately and I wanted to make sure you have been feeling all right. You seem more than a little jumpy right now." Every word that issued from his lips seemed like water trickling slowly out of a barrel that was ready to bust open. It took a lot of willpower not to just cut to the point. "I was hoping we could clear that up or at least let me understand what you're going through a little better."

Elric let his hands fall to his sides, but he was clenching his fists tightly as he tried to control his speech. "Have you had an unexpected guest before?"

[Piper Wren]

"You have been distant lately and I wanted to make sure you have been feeling all right. You seem more than a little jumpy right now. I was hoping we could clear that up or at least let me understand what you're going through a little better..."

Distant was a word for it. Piper had her reasons for keeping to herself at this time, keeping away from everyone meant she didn't have to explain her strapped together fingers, the bruising around her eye and why she kept her shirt buttoned all the way to her throat. Piper watched Elric's motions, everything from the habitual straightening of his collar down to the tension in his clenched fists. There seemed to be a lot of control behind Elric's words, as if he were thinking very carefully about how to phrase things. Why did she feel vaguely ill? She didn't want to talk about...she shouldn't have to talk about it! Keeping her head bowed slightly so her hair covered the bruised side of her fast, Piper cast her eyes to floor before speaking.

"I'm fine...nothing's wrong with me, you just...you just shocked me that's all."

"Have you had an unexpected guest before?"

At those words Piper squeezed her eyes shut, clenching the fingers of her good hand, the other hand stayed strapped up beneath the fabric of her sleeve. That wasn't something she expected Elric to pick up on, there had been many night-time visits from Iugo which contributed to her never sleeping properly...but how did he guess? Throwing the lamp was just out of panic...

"I don't know what you're talking about, really...nothing's wrong with me. See? I'm fine, all in...one piece."

Well, mostly anyway. Piper was glad Elric couldn't see the worst of the marks since they were hidden beneath the fabric of the shirt she had on, buttoned all the way to the top as if she were frightened a bruise might slip out when she wasn't paying attention and leave an incriminating mark for all to see.

[Elric Vlarintos]

Elric anticipated the words of denial and was not surprised to hear Piper say, "I'm fine...nothing's wrong with me, you just...you just shocked me that's all." It hardly seemed like an accurate statement coming from anyone in Wonderland. No one here was really 'fine' by any reasonable definition of the word. Relatively speaking, however, there were some who fared better than others. Right now Piper was not giving off the feeling of someone who was doing fine in either sense of the word.

Elric did not bother commenting that he had heard those words before not too long ago. He had said them in an attempt to brush Piper away from the issues at hand. Now she was using them to try and keep him away. Of course, when push came to shove he had told her. There had been something in the way that she spoke that made him want to talk about it, if only for a little while. Of course, rumors also circulated about the problem and she already knew more about his problems than he did about hers. This was going to be complicated.

"I'm fine, all in...one piece."

Elric let out a heavy sigh as he unclenched his fists; clearly the way he wanted to go about this wasn't really going to work. He folded his hands and rested his elbows on his lap. Leaning forward he rested his head on his folded hands as he looked at Piper. "You say that you are fine, but you don't look fine. It isn't really my place to pry into your affairs, but I'd like it if you talked to me about it." After saying that Elric looked past Piper and at the door. If she asked him to leave he would have to honor that wish, even if he didn't like it.

[Piper Wren]

"You say that you are fine, but you don't look fine. It isn't really my place to pry into your affairs, but I'd like it if you talked to me about it."

Piper nibbled hard on her bottom lip, keeping her eyes screwed shut as if she could forget that this conversation was happening. She didn't want anyone to know because everyone else had their own struggles, if she could keep hers quiet it would be better all around...it seemed she hadn't done a good enough job in concealing the signs, no one else had noticed. Only Elric. Piper felt guilt gnawing at her insides, she had encouraged Elric to speak to her about his problems but found herself unable to open up easily. She was such a hypocrite...After a moment or so she opened her eyes and glanced at Elric who was looking past her at the moment. Like he was hurt that she wouldn't tell him what was on her mind.

After a moment's hesitation, Piper rose from her seat on the bed and crossed to the door, there was an old chair which had books stacked on top of it, she swept them off with her good hand and dragged the chair over to wedge it underneath the door handle. The last thing she needed was Kristopher or Augusta walking in if she was going to talk about this, once she was satisified that the door couldn't be opened easily Piper once again turned to Elric.

"You have to promise me you won't tell a soul..."

Carefully, Piper lifted her hair away from the right side of her face to reveal dark bruising around her eye, the marks still dark purple closest to the eye itself and growing fainter into a brown by the time it just touched the top of her cheekbone.

[Elric Vlarintos]

Elric could tell that Piper was carefully considering her options at the moment. She had pushed him out of his comfort zone and now she had apparently been pushed out of hers. He wouldn't blame her if she told him to leave without saying anything more on the subject, but he knew that if she didn't say anything to him about it, then no one was going to hear about it.

His eyes followed her movements as she wedged the door shut. Elric knew then that she intended to say something, he just wasn't certain what. "You have to promise me you won't tell a soul..." He nodded solemnly and silently in agreement. A secret kept with Elric was a secret taken to the grave.

As Piper brushed her hair to the side she revealed one of the ugliest bruises he had seen on someone's face in a long while. However, his face did not register the shock of seeing it beyond a slight widening of his eyes. He took in the image silently and processed it slowly in his mind. "I'm sorry," he offered meekly, wishing that he could be more confident in what to say.

"I'm certain that is only one of several hurts," he added with his eyes briefly flitting towards her hand before looking back to her face. Apparently she had found ways to hide the marks. The more he thought about it the harder he began to clench his teeth. With conscious effort he loosened the tension in his jaw and gently ran his tongue over the side of his mouth as he tried to relax a bit more.

"Are you going to tell me which of them did this to you, or should I make guesses?" Elric didn't really know where to begin his guessing. He realized very quickly that he knew next to nothing about Piper's antagonists or her owner. Maybe she had already had several during her stay here? Sometimes new slaves got passed around quite a bit; most of them didn't make it.

[Piper Wren]

I'm sorry, I'm certain that is only one of several hurts,"

Piper cringed and let her hair fall back to cover the ugly bruise once again, it had started to heal but it was still a horrendous sight. It would be a while yet before her face looked normal enough for her to stop avoiding people. She also noted Elric's glance towards her hand which although mostly covered with the fabric of the open cuff of her shirt, it was hard to hide that she couldn't use it and moved it stiffly thanks to her strapped fingers. There was a pause before Piper seated herself on the bed once again, keeping her knees hugged to her chest. Underneath the high collared shirt were more bruises of a similar callibre to the one on her face...

"Perceptive aren't we...no one else noticed, I got good at hiding this kind of thing, I've had a lot of practice."

After a brief silence, Piper swallowed audibly and raised the open cuff of her shirt up to her wrist, exposing her hand for the first time. All the fingers aside from the index were strapped together where Iugo had snapped them one by one...She shuddered at the memory of it.

Are you going to tell me which of them did this to you, or should I make guesses?"

Piper automatically covered her hand once again at Elric's questioning as if the injuries themselves were enough to give it away. She avoided his eyes, this wasn't an attempt to protect her abuser as the untrained eye might believe, it was simply out of fear. All of a sudden the patchwork quilt on the bed was very interesting and she traced the amatuer stitching under the fingertips of her working hand.

"Does it matter? I can't make it stop...it's not the first and I'm willing to bet it won't be the last time."

[Elric Vlarintos]

"Perceptive aren't we...no one else noticed, I got good at hiding this kind of thing, I've had a lot of practice."

"It's not something you should have to be good at," Elric commented in a dull tone. There really wasn't any point at prying at her thoughts or nitpicking at what she thought was best for her. Somehow, he was grateful that she was sharing this much of the problem with him. It wasn't the entire picture he was seeing; not by a long shot. If he wanted to get even a reasonable view of what was going on he'd have to put the pieces of a puzzle together. Elric never really liked puzzles.

When he saw her broken fingers he felt his mouth go open for a brief moment before he shut it. His face curled up in a way that expressed something not entirely different from disapproval. At first he thought that someone might have crushed her hand, but then he realized that only three of the fingers were broken. Either somebody bent them all until they broke, or it had been done one finger at a time. He couldn't figure out which it was from just the bruises, but he knew that the fingers had to have been intentional.

While his attention was on her injuries it seemed that Piper closed right up again and wouldn't help him understand anything more. The bed had become significantly more interesting than anything he had to say.

"Does it matter? I can't make it stop...it's not the first and I'm willing to bet it won't be the last time."

Once again her words echoed something Elric recalled saying. "Sometimes there's a problem, and there is nothing anyone can do to fix that problem. However, just because there is nothing anyone can do it doesn't mean that it doesn't matter." Whoever did this to her had done it to her before, and that gave Elric a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. His thoughts traced over the worst possibilities; there were things that even he couldn't put words to during his most blunt moments. Another horrid thought occurred to him and it sent shivers down his spine. He didn't want to consider the possibility that she was used to the abuse from more than one source.

He moved himself a little closer to Piper, but still kept some distance between the two of them. She didn't look like she really wanted proximity to anyone right now. "I'm terribly sorry, Piper."

[Piper Wren]

"It's not something you should have to be good at,"

Piper visibly flinched at Elric's words, he was right...she shouldn't have to be good at it, but the reality of her situation now and even before she was brought to Wonderland meant that it was something she had learned none the less. She never really spoke about the things that happened before she ended up here, Augusta knew some of the picture but only because he had guessed. Even Kristopher whom she considered to be a friend didn't know anything about it. Piper worried that if anyone knew they would think less of her and treat her like a whore the way Iugo did.

It's not like she asked for it...

"I didn't really have much choice."

Elric's expression at the sight of her broken fingers said it all, if only for a moment, it was a good thing he couldn't see the rest of Iugo's handiwork which was still beneath the layers of fabric covering her body or he really might have something to say about it. When Elric moved closer to her Piper tensed as an automatic reflex like she always did whenever someone got too close to her. But then she relaxed, it was only Elric after all. She finally looked up from examining the bed covers to look him the eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry, Piper."

A dark half chuckle escaped Piper's lips, not that she found the situation at all amusing but it was just that Elric wanted to apoligise for something he could do nothing about, she reached out with her good hand and squeezed Elric's wrist gently.

"You probably wish you never asked now, right?"

[Elric Vlarintos]

"I didn't really have much choice," she said, but Elric disagreed wholeheartedly with that statement. There were always choices available to those who looked; it was the consequences of some of those choices which made things seem hopeless. Was it better to survive in a miserable status quo or to risk a worse fate for the hope of something better? After letting that thought sink in for a moment Elric realized he could understand rebellious slaves just a little better than he had before. It failed to change his opinion on the matter, but he could understand Piper's predicament and the rebels' position at the same time.

It became easier to relate his own feelings to what Piper had said.

"I think I'm coming to understand the world I've been ignoring just a little better," he admitted quietly to her. It must have sounded terribly off topic, but he felt like he needed to get that off his chest. Of course, he still couldn't quite grasp what was going on in Piper's head, and he was fairly certain if he did the truth would crush him.

Lost in his own world of thoughts it came as a surprise when he heard Piper chuckle and then felt the gentle squeeze of her hand around his wrist. He wasn't terribly certain what was so amusing to her about this whole situation, but he'd trust that it was better for her to find something to laugh about than to leave her moping.

"You probably wish you never asked now, right?"

What a strange thing to say. Elric shook his head to indicate he disagreed. "I can't say that I regret asking. I am very grateful that you shared what you felt comfortable sharing without making me try too hard. There's nothing wrong with keeping a few secrets, just so long as you're keeping them for the right reasons."

[Piper Wren]

"I think I'm coming to understand the world I've been ignoring just a little better,"

Everyone had to start somewhere, Piper hadn't really chosen to understand Wonderland, it had been thrust into her face and she had been forced to look at the truth of it all. Elric had somehow managed to ignore it and only now was he starting to understand the darkest edges of it. Piper tightened her hold almost instinctively on Elric's wrist for a moment, if he was starting to understand Wonderland...maybe he might understand her without the words passing her lips. Bringing that experience forward and giving it form with words made it feel real all over again.

"Better late than never...we all have to understand it sooner or later, even if we don't want to. Kris told me that pretty soon after I ended up here..."

Piper saw the look on Elric's face at her reaction, she didn't really find the situation funny in the least, it was almost due to nerves that it escaped. She wasn't very good at opening up to anyone even though she let others pour their hearts out to her. Right now what Piper wanted was comfort, she wanted someone to hold her and tell her it was going to be alright even if that probably wasn't the case. But on the other hand the thought made her feel vaguely ill, what if it hurt and the rest of her little secret was suddenly made too obvious? Piper couldn't bring herself to hold Elric's gaze anymore although she still kept a grip on his wrist like a lifeline.

"I can't say that I regret asking. I am very grateful that you shared what you felt comfortable sharing without making me try too hard. There's nothing wrong with keeping a few secrets, just so long as you're keeping them for the right reasons."

Everyone had their own definition on what was a good reason for keeping a secret, or numerous ones in Piper's case that kept pushing from underneath the surface and almost ending up in the open.

"Depends on your definition of the right reasons for keeping secrets, I'm starting to wonder in my own mind if what I'm doing is the right thing."

[Elric Vlarintos]

"Better late than never...we all have to understand it sooner or later, even if we don't want to. Kris told me that pretty soon after I ended up here..."

Elric raised his eyebrow as he glanced at Piper. Somehow it seemed like she was talking about something entirely different from what he was talking about, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Was she talking about the dirty truth of this world of Wonder? "The world around us isn't far removed from the world I left. The only difference being that it doesn't need to deny or justify its ugly little habits to retain legitimacy. It's always been people that I have failed to understand."

It was hard to put into words, but Elric could not stand how people treated one another. The inherent contradictions in morals and what you were taught while growing up just seemed one more way to obfuscate the truth of the matter. Everyone has a chance to succeed, but you need to beat out the competition, Elric. He dismissed the voice before he had a chance to think too hard about it and get angry. Everyone had a history and sharing it just created more weaknesses to exploit. It was just one more way that this place could torture you without even doing anything.

"Depends on your definition of the right reasons for keeping secrets, I'm starting to wonder in my own mind if what I'm doing is the right thing."

What a peculiar thing for Piper to mention. Elric's facial features softened a little bit; he hadn't even realized they had tensed up as much as they had. "I suppose I don't really have a rigid definition of the world. I listen to my gut to tell me what I should do and I listen to my head to tell me if it's a good idea." The two were not always in agreement. "If you're beginning to second guess yourself, then maybe it's time you gave it some serious thought." Elric had no idea what he was giving Piper advice for, but it seemed better than just keeping silent.